Destruction and Idiocy
by Tori-Sama101
Summary: You loved us in the Commentary, now see what happens when Tori and Keely enter the game. Flames accepted.


**H**i and welcome to my 3rd fanfic. I don't know what happened to the second one. I must've accidentally deleted it. Moving on, I got tired of the commentary so I decided to stop and jump on the bandwagon where two girls get sucked into the game yadda yadda yadda. NEVERTHELESS, this one shall be different! This is complete utter comedy so no romantic crap (if there is any it'll be one-sided). …Keely's gonna kill me for writing this.

**R**ated T for violence, language, and crude humor.

**D**isclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts 1 or 2. If I did I'd be to busy jumping around in a circle with Sora, Donald, and Goofy.

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****C**hapter One: 

"_But I don't want to go among mad people."_

"_Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here."_

-Lewis Carroll, _Alice in Wonderland_

Summer vacation. A time where kids and teens alike get to throw their test papers into the air and frolic like little antelope. In a small house near the city, inside a cold dark basement, we find our two lovely heroes and the "Pimp" dog sitting on a beige leather couch watching mindless idiots barf, strip, and throw themselves into dangerous situations on the boob tube. You all might recognize this show as "Jackass" (insert guitar chord). To others this was great entertainment, but to these girls it was just dull as dirt. Yes, it was only the start of summer vacation and they were bored out of their minds.

"Neh Cha-chou, isn't there a movie on somewhere?" asked the spazzy brunette, Tori. "I told you On Demand isn't working," answered the "emo" brunette, Keely. Slowly sinking into the crack of the couch the "Pimpin'" cocker spaniel, Skye, gave a loud sigh suggesting the he was tired of watching Pontius skip around in a thong too. Just then an idea that had been sitting in Tori's mind for a while finally popped.

"Hey Ki, can we play King-"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to sit through countless hours of you blubbering over Riku."

"Oh come on. Please? You know I can't my game at home."

_Flashback_

Moving to the suburban, inside a less creepy and dark basement, resides Tori fully immersed in a heated battle against Xaldin.

_"Come on. Jump, Sora, jump! Ah! Heal! HEAL!"_

At long last, the evil man with the black dreads is defeated.

_"Hah! Owned bitch!"_

However, Tori's victory dance is shortly ended when her TV screen goes black as her PS2 gasps its last breath.

_"What? No…NOOO!"_

_End Flashback_

"My poor baby. May it rest in peace." Keely rolled her blue grey eyes. "Fine, you can play as long as I get to fight in Mulan's world." "Deal. And Mulan's world is called The Land of Dragons," said Tori proudly showing off her know-it-all skills meanwhile Keely held her head in shame at her best friends nerdiness. "Keely! What kind of pizza do you guys want?" asked her mother from upstairs.

"I don't know. What kind do you want Tori?"

"Ki, your TV's messed up."

"Huh?"

"Come see."

Tori pointed at the screen where a strange green light was emitting. "What did you do?" asked Keely thoroughly confused for this had never happened before. "I didn't do anything." She poked the screen and gasped in surprise when her hand went through. "Dude…" "Tori," said Keely slowly stepping back with fear, "Stay away from the TV." She didn't listen. Instead, she stuck her head through the light. "TORI!" "Dude, you gotta try this." Keely ran to her friend to pull her back. Unfortunately, she tripped over Skye knocking Tori and herself into the TV.

_

* * *

__'What happened?"_

_'Where am I?'_

_'Who the hell keeps shaking me?'_

Keely's eyes fluttered open to see Tori's worried expression. "You're alive!" Tori shouted a bit too loudly. "Oh God, not you," groaned Keely closing her eyes. Tori shook her once more. "Oh no you don't! Get up Cha-chou!" "Are you guys always like this?" Hearing the new voice made Keely sit up so fast it was amazing she didn't get whiplash. Standing next to Tori were a pair of giant yellow shoes, tan shaven legs, red short shorts, a skintight white and black jacket, and the most unruly hair she had ever seen. "S-Sora?" "I know isn't it awesome!" shouted Tori, again a bit too loudly. "Uh, how is it that you two know Sora?" asked asouthern hickvoice. Looking behind her she saw, a 6ft dog and a 3ft duck both in strange clothing. "Not them too!" "Yes them too!" Keely glared at Tori. "I need a word with you now!" she yelled grabbing Tori by the hood of her navy sweatshirt.

"What the hell happened?" whispered Keely. "How should I know? I remember the TV was all screwy, you could stick things through it, you were all scared and told me to back away, then all of a sudden you push me in, I wake up to see them and you sprawled on the floor, and yeah," explained Tori. "So why the heck are we in…?" Keely took a minute to figure out her surroundings. The room was completely white and almost empty, except for a giant white flower bud cocoon in the middle of the floor. "Tori, you're the Kingdom Hearts nerd, where are we?" "That's easy; we're in….um…" She collapsed on to the floor. Her face was completely pale. "What is it?" asked Keely.

"I-I c-can't remember."

"What! Kingdom Hearts is your life! You know everything there is to know about-"

"I know I know, but I keep drawing a blank. I onlyremember Sora's name and the Disney people."

From across the room Sora and his friends made their judgments about the two strange girls. "So what do you think guys?" asked Sora. "Nut jobs," squawked Donald. Their thoughts were interrupted when Tori begun hitting her head repeatedly against the flower cocoon. "Gawrsh fellers, I think they might need our help," suggested Goofy. "No, they'd just be in the way." "Well, what do you think Sora?"

"Why! Can't! I! Remember!" shouted Tori bashing her head in-between words. "Stop that before you give yourself even more brain damage! Besides, we have more important things to figure out." "Oh yeah, like what?" "Like how are we going to get out in here?" The situation finally clicked in Tori's head. A large grin grew upon her face. "We're in Kingdom Hearts, aren't we?" It was now Keely's turn to bash her head.

"Ki! Do you know what this means? I'm finally living my life!"

"What?"

"You guys always said I had no other life besides Kingdom Hearts and now I'm actually living it! This is too perfect!"

"No, this is not perfect. This is a nightmare! I actually have a REAL life! I want to go home!"

"Uh excuse me," said Sora meekly. "What!" yelled Keely. "Hey, don't take this out on him Ki." "No, I should be taking this out on you! You and your horrible wiring skills caused all of this!" "What? I told you I didn't do anything! If you wanna blame something, blame your crappy wide screen Toshiba!" "My TV was fine till you tainted it!" "GIRLS!" "WHAT?" Sora took in a deep breath. It was going to take a lot of patience to deal with these two. "Why don't you come with us. We don't know where we are or what's going on either, but together we might find a way for you to go home." "Will we find Riku too?" asked Tori. "Oh, not him aga- TORI! You just remembered something!" shouted Keely. "I did?" "How do you know Riku?" asked Sora his face suddenly turning serious. "How could I possibly forget? He's one of the sexiest gam-…um what was I gonna say?" "Don't strain yourself Tori. You'll have a mental breakdown," sighed Keely."So I guess you don't know where he is then," said Sora. "Well, I do, but I don't," explained Tori. "Maybe Tori's memory will get better as we go along," said Goofy. "So will you come with us or not?" asked Donald. "Do we have a choice?" asked Keely.

**

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****A**/N: Well there's the beginning for you. I don't really like it, but it'll get better as I go. 

**I**nformation:

Throughout this story, you'll see me call Keely by a whole bunch of different nicknames (Ki, Keekers, Cha-chou, etc.).

Even though I'm a tad ashamed to admit it, Kingdom Hearts IS my life and I'm am the biggest nerd about it. So I thought what would happen if I suddenly forgot everything about it. That's why I put that little theme into the story.


End file.
